Inside the mind of a woman

I must say today has been an amazing experience. Not only because today I will join the hundreds of women employees of our organization to celebrate womanhood, but because today is the day I got educated on the realities of women in society, and what it means to be a woman in your family, in your work, in your country.

History… I was part of our country’s IWD celebration last year. At that event, we had several women speakers who were very successful in their chosen field of work while at the same time taking care of kids, husbands, family. The air was filled with hope for women. The event ended with me feeling like I can do anything… I can go up the corporate ladder and still make my husband and kids deliriously happy. The event filled me with thoughts of better work environments for women, better facilities and better opportunities.

Today, I sort of expected the same. The same inspiring leaders. CEOs of big known companies. Women who juggled through client meetings and PTAs. But today was different. Very different.

Fab. Fearless. Females. Daphne Osena I felt is the best host to utter those three words. She is a producer and a TV host of one of my fave shows – F. In addition, she is a very beautiful and chic wife and mother of 2 kids. The stage she stood in was flanked by 2 giant-sized cutouts of Lara Croft and Aeonflux (appropriate eh?).

Aeon Flux is the top operative in the underground Monican rebellion, led by the Handler. She is the assassin that has been assigned by the underground rebels to change the course of Mankind, forever. This is the story of her fight for justice, freedom and revenge.

Lara Croft is a “tomb raider” who enjoys collecting ancient artifacts from ruins of temples, cities, etc. worldwide, and doesn’t mind going through death-defying dangers to get them. She is skilled in hand-to-hand combat, weapons training, and foreign languages. She is a wealthy, British archeologist/tomb raider who tries to thwart a secret society/doomesday cult seeking two pieces of a mysterious device hidden in two different places of the world in order to use it during a rare planetary alignment to bring them unlimited power to control or destroy the world.

The theme today was different. Stronger. More passionate. The key words that were used to animate the audience were: Celebrate. Inspire. Empower.

The walls were filled with pictures of women who excelled in various areas like: sports, arts, social work and community. The speakers that were invited to the event all had the same message to say: stop trying to be like men. Men are men and women are women. Each one is unique but both are equal.

Our society and culture have taught us that in order to succeed in this world, one must be like a man… talk like a man… walk like a man… play golf like a man. You know what? Women hate golf (including me). Men succeed because they are skilled and amazing individuals.. not because they are men.

In the Philippines today, you will not find anyone who will outright say that he or she is guilty of gender discrimination. Filipinos today fool themselves into thinking they are not biased against women. But how many times will you hear the words… “stupid woman driver”… or sometimes the words… “let it be… she is a girl”… How many husbands feel it is their wives’ duties to take care of the kids? Oh yes, these husbands let their wives work or get their own careers… as long as they are still able to take care of the home. How many parents impose curfews on their daughters and none on their sons? Our families are all guilty. Mine are guilty as well. We were all taught that the females are the weaker sex. Not directly no. But their words and their actions train our minds to think this way. I admit I am not strong enough to carry a sack of rice weighing 25 kilos so I let my husband carry it when we buy at the grocery. But I do not do that because I am a woman and he is a man. I do that because I need help. If my husband had the same physique and weak arms like I did, would he be able to bear the weight? I doubt it.

The headlines of the Inquirer today read – RP tops international poll of senior women execs. Shouldn’t we be proud? I am. Very. Reality check. How many of those senior executives who were women have had to work twice as hard, put in more hours and accept more responsibility than their male colleagues in order for them to climb to the top of the corporate ladder?

What that headline does not say is that although more women are allowed to work these days, they are still considered lower in status, have less job security, and lower wages than their male counterparts. I recall one company who turned down my application as network administrator the reason being I might not be able to lug around the hardware that was required. If I knew then what I know now… tsk tsk.

Labor secretary Nieves Confesor described it as the feminization of the working poverty. Now even poverty has the face of a woman. Statistics show that of the unemployed, you will find that majority of them will be women. And in poverty-stricken areas, families who cannot afford to send their kids to school often have their daughters stop schooling and just help out at home rather than have their sons do that.

Oh yes, companies in the cities are slowly closing the gender gaps and are turning gender blind. But once outside, in the real world, women are still held with fragile regard.

A lot of my men friends and male co-workers asked me last week – “Why isn’t there an International Men’s Day? Why are women the only ones who are celebrated?”. I told them… then why don’t you make your own celebration? your own event? Women chose to celebrate women. Others merely support it. And until the world completely eradicates the gender bias… in our homes.. in our country… then every year – there will be a celebration and an inspiration. Every year women will be celebrated around the world. Why? Because we can.