Inside the mind of a woman

For two straight weeks now my lower back has been hurting like hell. It felt like the day after I have played a day-long tournament. It felt like the night following a whole day of carrying heavy weight – like an eleven-month old baby boy. It felt like I had been sitting in an awkward position all day long. It felt like I was ten thousand pounds heavier.

So I disregarded it (like I was swatting out a fly).

The pain persisted. Even during those times when I felt I had a good night’s sleep, I would get up from bed and instantly feel the pain surge across my abdomen.

A friend told me I was just stressed out and maybe I should take some time off. Besides, thinking about it, I couldnt come up with something that I can relate my stress to – well not at the top of my head. I took leave nonetheless.

And before I succumbed to the inevitable – “admitting” I was stressed – I listed out in my mind the stressors that have hit me bad the past few weeks.

Pressures

There is definitely a lot of pressure at work. But to me, that is nothing new. Although this time, the demands are higher, the deadlines are more aggressive, the customers have higher expectations, the impacts are more critical. And even if I did manage to work through all of it, I must admit – it has taken its toll on my mind and body.

Frustrations

I am happy that my sweetie has a new and challenging job. What frustrates me is the fact that his work hours are very different from mine. Yes, its only 6am to 3pm but hellow! my hours are from 8am to 7pm and by the time I arrive home, there really isn’t much time to spend relaxing with each other before we have to go to sleep as he has to wake up early the next day.

When he started out, we realized that we had to make a lot of adjustments. And we did. I guess I am feeling the most impact as my hours have remained the same. So in order to successfully adjust, I had to give up my “unwind” time.

Conflicts

As with most working mothers, it often causes conflict to have to leave for work while inside really wanting to stay at home to take care of the kids. I have two small boys that I really miss a lot every time I have to spend an additional hour at work. But this is a challenge I have to deal with for a very very long time…

I had attended a couple of stress management seminars sponsored by the company and facilitated by Anthony Pangilinan of Businessworks Inc. They really do not tell you WHAT to do about your stress. They dont tell you WHAT to do to eliminate the stress. No one can really tell you WHAT to do. But they will tell you HOW to identify what is important to you and what is your life’s priorities that would help you in the end – deal with your stress.

So with all that said – I am now dealing with my stress. Sigh**