I have never found it hard to define love before. Now, I have been tagged by Joni to talk about something I should be very very much familiar with. The tag instructs to define love without the use of cliches and frankly I don’t like cliches. And because I want to be creative, I will use the cliches to define what love is NOT (and then maybe make it up by giving my bit on my love).

All is fair in love and war. This is a free for all situation. I personally think life is not fair or free from bias. What more love? A person in love is often clouded with emotion that they cannot help but be biased. Can you honestly tell me that you will never favor your husband or child over somebody else? Or that you will never do anything to fight for the one you love even at the expense of something or someone? Many may rise in protest but really - in real life… is anyone in love fair?

If you love someone set him free. If he comes back he is yours, if he does not, he never was. So not true… for me. I don’t believe in letting the one you love go. This cliche puts so much stock in fate that it assumes someone else (other than you) is running your life. I believe in me having the power to shape what I want to make out of my life and my relationships. Looking back, I don’t recall ever sitting down or locking myself up in the house waiting for prince charming. I was out there… literally… living my life… fighting for my love. And during those times that the relationship does not work out, then I learn to accept it. It did not mean I was setting him free (I wouldn’t if I had a choice).

Love is blind. Of course not, love is not blind. This cliche is often heard uttered when people see two people you least expect decide to get together. You hear whispers of “what in the world did she see in him?” or maybe “she is too young for him!” or even “he is too gorgeous for her!”. Different strokes for different folks. I have always felt that it was during those times of being in love that things have been most clear to me. Its like… being in love opens your mind and your soul to anything and you suddenly have an understanding of the things that revolve around you. So I really don’t think love is blind… overly tolerant maybe but not blind.

You only hurt the one you love. Now I wonder who wrote this and what that person was thinking when he did. I tend to think of the opposite. You only get hurt if you love. I must admit people I love have so much power over me that I only get hurt by the words and acts of these people. I doubt I cause the same pain and heartache in them.

So what IS love?

• love is making sure your family is well provided
• love is preparing your family’s meal every day despite all the overtime you put in the office
• love is the warmth you feel all over as little ones come running with open arms when you walk in the door
• love is reading another “three little pigs” story even when you want so much to close your eyes and sleep
• love is the passion that embraces you at night
• love is deciding to take the day off from work to take care of a sick husband or child
• love is driving two hours in the rain to visit a friend who is depressed
• love is keeping yourself healthy for the sake of your kids
• love is what you wake up to in the morning years after you have gone old and gray

And because I am talking about love, I must of course tell about my own love… because to me, this is what LOVE means.

I would like to end with one of my favorite quotes from the movie Hitch….

You know what it’s like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it’s never going to be with you.
- Albert