Written 24 August 2005

Finally….I can honestly say that I am happy…. not happy-to-have-a-bf shallow type of happy but the deep, long lasting kind…I’ve never been this happy in the last 30 years of my life and I wanted to determine what we as a couple have done or are doing that have contributed to the making of this great relationship that we have.

We use terms of endearment.
Sweetie, Baby, Love, Daddy, Mommy…you name it we use it. Abatopkors - sweetie would be the one we use to refer to one another. I feel that all couples should have this as a part of their lives. Y? Because it helps soften the daily blows that a relationship encounters. Nothing beats hearing “Sweetie, I’m sorry” when an infraction has been committed by one…and haven’t you ever been excited upon hearing “Oh Baby Yes!” - go figure my mature audience. So my dear mango cream pie, whadoyousay?

Do stuff together
We both love coffee, we both love to play badminton, we are both book readers - bookworms if you may, we are both in the field of information technology, we can both speak our mind, we both have a well of knowledge (albeit of different things), we both value time and punctuality, we both love children (our children of course), we work hard, we play hard…most importantly of course is that we love each other very very very much.

When the going gets tough we don’t call Ghostbusters
…rather we pick up the phone and call each other. And really this has never been more apparent than this very very recent physical separation of ours. First toughie was when I found out my non-promotion - upon receiving the news, my sweetie immediately called me…and that was really all I needed to make all the frustration and hurt go away. Another would be this constant feeling of yearning that we both have to deal with. The old me would have dialed-a-friend and organized a gimik, an outing, a drinking session to get my mind off missing him. But what do I do? I stay connected 24×7 anxiously waiting for the time that he is able to stop and connect. And he is in the same boat. It is much harder for him - that I will admit as much - because he is technically “roughing it” and that would mean primitive really. But he calls me often…and lately everyday. The frustration that we feel is so strong, chatting over Yahoo! Messenger isn’t enough for us anymore that we have to hear each other’s voice to help us get through the day. Ain’t that sweet?

We don’t nickel-and-dime about chores or anything we do for each other
A good relationship has couples give 200% to the relationship. I’ts give and take and it-takes-two-to-tango. But whatever cliche you choose to use, who says you have to give 50-50 or short-step the dance? I love it when I do stuff for my sweetie…even if its as simple as keeping him caffeinated (is there such a word?). And I can surely tell you that my sweetie is the best when it comes to taking care of me and my baby. I will do my utmost best to avoid the day that we start keeping track of every dish washed or every diaper changed. I love you sweetie!

Establishing ground rules for arguments and fights
There’s fighting and then there’s fighting. The day that we start yelling at each other and hurting each other physically or even throwing things at each other is the day that our perfect relationship will disintegrate. But early on, we had already discussed what we wanted to do in case we argued or fought, what to expect, and even went to explain how each dealt with such an encounter. My sweetie plays the silent treatment until he cools off. I, in turn react the same way but easily concedes to a comforting hug or a gentle touch. Rules are good you know.

We never lose our sense of humor
I am really a very makulit {read: wacky - silly} person. I love making people laugh. I often do it by making quips in a serious tone and a stern expression that makes it all the more laughable. And I love making my sweetie laugh. He laughs like the laughter came from deep within the crevices of his being. And I love it…and I love him. He also does that to me. Always teasing me…knowing only too well what buttons to push to cause me to pout, to frown, to stomp my feet then tickle my fancy by admitting the truth - that he loves me dearly.

We take the phrase “i love you no matter what happens” seriously.
This is the first time in my life that I’ve been in a relationship wherein I wasn’t worried about “the end” when we fight, or we argue, or if we cannot contact each other, or if we are away from each other. His success is mine, his frustrations are mine, his grief is mine. We go through our lives together…holding hands in the process.

So now, are you still wondering why there’s a glow to my face (even if literally I’ve got eyebags as black as night)? That is the glow of happiness. And all you have to do is look into my sweetie’s eyes to know that bliss, happiness and joy resides there as well.

Now I know what perfect means. Now I know what happiness means. Now I know what love means. I love you sweetie. Hurry home.

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