It is quite a challenge to be an uninhibited woman in the Philippine society. Due to many having been brought up in strict Catholic homes, a lot of things, ideas and actions related to sex are often taboo. And because we were taught that lovemaking is simply a means to procreate, few realize and reap the benefits of embracing your own sexuality.

Photo courtesy of beyrouth

I know a lot of people who seem to have lost their minds and swore off sex completely because of the painful memories of childbirth while I know many, like me, who are lucky to be in tune with our inner desires and fantasies. So its a refreshing thought that we now have an accessible sex store (for lack of a better term) in the middle of the metro. The place does not attempt to hide in nondescript walls with no signs whatsoever. In fact, it was fronted by ceiling high glass windows where you can peer through and see the interior of the store. The windows were decorated with displays of the store’s merchandise with no apologies. You have to be a hundred percent sure of yourself to enter the store as everyone is able to see who’s shopping, browsing and touching the goods.

It was totally different from a similar store that I visited in the US. I once accompanied a guy friend who went to an adult store to buy his uncle some “nice” DVDs. While outside the place was a simple brick building, inside was like your neighborhood video store. The lights were so bright and there were shelves upon shelves of almost every type of adult toy, DVD, even greeting cards that were only slightly naughty and had me hoarding a couple to bring back home.

The Pleasure Place comes across as a really cozy fashion boutique which just happens to sell toys for adults. My husband and I walked away from the store with a shiny new pink gadget. Hint: I think this should be called every woman’s best friend.

The Pleasure Place

GF Metrowalk Commercial Complex
Meralco Ave., Ortigas. Pasig City
Metro Manila Philippines.

Tel No: (63 2) 631-9788

Many times I would have loved to jump in and join in the discussion but that entailed dialing their hotline again and again since the line is expected to be busy. I heard one listener of Goodtimes say it took him more than a year of calling before he actually got to talk to Mo!

So the topic was about tampons and how there seems to be very few people in the country who actually use them. They asked out loud why that is and the conclusion appeared to agree with something Grace expressed that women may feel awkward about the inserting something “there”. Sort of like having sex, if you know what I mean (wink!).

I think differently. I think the reason why it doesn’t seem popular here is more because very few stores sell them. You would have to go through every PX store just so you could buy them and it would even cost you your week’s allowance (or more).

I use tampons and I stock up on them for fear that my favorite supermarket will stop selling them. Given that, I must say I am actually a late bloomer in the use of tampons. I was introduced to it by a fellow sports buff who encouraged me to try it promising its benefits especially when playing badminton. Once I did, I got hooked and suddenly a lot of people I know seemed to be using it and longer than I had expected it.

So if women here just realize how much easier it would be to live through their period when using tampons, I’ll bet there will be a huge demand for it. Imagine still being able to wear your favorite thong, or lace undies even when you have your period. Imagine not having to worry about spills and stains. Imagine not having to worry about not being able to walk fast, run or dance. All of those things you complain about each month would no longer be an issue. And if women are afraid of getting TSS, then I suggest read the instructions on how to use tampons properly.

Are we not looking for the answers to make our lives easier? Well then tampons certainly is one of those answers. Go on try it!

He introduced me to the song a couple of weeks ago and he has now downloaded it into his new iPhone that he plays the complete video every night before we go to bed (or… you know). I must say that the tune is catchy and sexy and the video is something I can appreciate. I asked him why he liked this video instead of all the millions of other videos out there. He muses that the Kate sang and danced very seductively that he just can’t take his eyes away.

When you think about it, not only men find the all girl make-out session enticing, I would think many women do as well. How many women do you know has at one time or another fantasized about someone of the same gender? Come on, don’t be shy.

Ok let me see. Back when I was in high school, there was this girl that belonged to the senior class that I now remember liking in a crushy sort of way. She was tall and mestiza, wore braces and played a mean game of volleyball. She was hardly tomboyish and did not at all remind me of any male I knew back then. I just found her face extremely pretty and her smile so contagious that I could not help but stare stupidly at her every time she walks past me and my friends. The admiration ended when she graduated and I became preoccupied with the male species and eventually got myself a boyfriend.

These days, I no longer have that same "I kissed a girl" moment. My husband would probably love it if I did. As long as he gets to witness if any touching or kissing is actually involved. I laugh every time we happen to talk about it but I have to confess that the thought is not as weird as lets say a guy thinking about a guy in a straight kind of way. Uhmm. Stop there.

So have you kissed a girl?

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

There was one such discussion that I listened to one day that really made me think to the "first time". You see I never think that other people would ever have similar experiences that I have. Many would probably like to think that their lives and emotions are unique that it doesn’t cross their minds that others may have gone through the same thing (or is that called denial?). Anyway, I couldn’t recall specifically what the topic was but I distinctly remember Grace Lee saying – It always sucks the first time or something like, the first time is never enjoyable.

And I stopped to think – wow, I am not alone. So I say to all those who wonder and are fantasizing about how wonderful their first time will be… how different and unique their experience will become.. you are in for a rude awakening. Unless you live in a perfect world any one of these can happen to you.

You are both virgins and he is clumsy as hell. He has no idea where to start pleasing you and the minute you touch him, he comes.

He has tons of experience and the mileage to back it up. He has the touch and of course the moves. But experience thins the patience and your pain is suddenly his ecstasy. The amount of lotion or lube that he pours down on you is never enough to bring you to 7th heaven. And as you start to feel some semblance of desire, it is over.

In the real world, I wonder if anyone’s dreams have ever been fulfilled? What do you think?

Is sex really overrated? On the other hand, is any kind of physical intimacy between two people overrated?

This guy is going out with this girl. Let’s just say that he is courting her (courting in the old fashioned way I must say). So they go out, have lunch or dinner together, they watch movies, or go to the mall together. However, they are not “exclusive”. Ok fine – the girl has not yet said yes to a commitment with him. That should be ok right.

So its now a couple of months into the courtship and it has evolved. The couple gets closer, they hold hands, sometimes they kiss or hug. Eventually, they become intimate. But the words “I love you” have never been released from the girl’s mouth. The commitment is still a no-no. The guy gets confused. How come with all the skin thats touching – he could still not call it a relationship? How come, he couldn’t call her his girlfriend? Show her off to his friends?

There are still people these days who fool themselves into thinking that women do not get involved intimately with someone unless there is a committed relationship between them. I can only say, why not women?

Women do not have the luxury to pursue men. Well in true pinoy culture, it is still taboo for Filipina’s to openly pursue men for a relationship. Ha! Contradict all you want. Even though we are in the year 2007, many still look down on women who are too forward. Let’s all be real here.

So how can women grow their feelings for the men they date if they do not allow themselves to become close to them. Can we not hold hands with them and later on decide we do not want to spend the rest of our lives with them? Can we not kiss them goodnight and not be condemned for it if later on we decide to see other people we are more attracted to? Its hell to have to end up with someone you cannot even bear to kiss. Imagine making love to that person.

I still think the thought that – sex is indicative of the status of a relationship – is what makes it highly overrated. Sometimes, it really is only just about sex.

During one of my aimless netsurfing, I chanced upon this site, not necessarily by accident. Im not sure if sweetie has come across this because I think he will just love it.

Half-Nekkid Thursday – HNT was started about a year ago by a now famous blogger named Osbasso. I visited his site today and there was an image he posted by an HNTer that was I found interesting. There was also a link to his other site that includes images that have been sent over in the spirit of HNT. I wonder why HNT is most often associated with nudity when it clearly has been stated that it can be other things not exactly related to it. But I think, and probably a whole lot of others too, that nudity spikes the interest of more people rather than lets say a big toe. So kudos to Osbasso. Its definitely a pleasure to visit your site. You might have something from me… soon.

Can you imagine… couples having sex and the women (at the height of her ooohhhs and aaahhsss) with their legs raised up high can be seen wearing red stilettos, or those chunky platform stilettos with big bling bling chains. I only laugh. I was looking for pictures of stilettos that I could use for a post when I came across this picture. The one who took this is an artist. The contrast of the pink shoes with the naked forms are amazing. I wish I could have my picture taken like this.

I read somewhere that keeping one’s relationship in constant repair is the way to keep it strong. My husband and I had a disagreement the other night that resulted in a 2 night silence. By the morning of the 3^rd day, I was at wits end and I guess so was he because as soon as apologies were uttered and hugs were exchanged… well lets just say that what happened next would put the phrase Kiss and make up to shame. It felt like college and hooking up with a hunk of a guy you just met at a bar. It was suddenly all lips, sucks, tongues, licks, and then kiss kiss bang bang. Whew! If making up would always be this awesome maybe we ought to fight a lot more (kidding!).

The other day I was telling my friend about how I lost my old posts from the old site because of what happened to the server… she then mentioned that she had just read about my write-up on tampons. She had also just referred a friend to my blog for research as she was having a hard time finding someone in manila who used tampons. ‘Try finding a store that actually sells the stuff!’ – is how I responded. It started me talking about tampons and how it basically saved me from all my monthly period woes. In the end I believe I was able to convince my friend to try it. So let me re-publish that post and hopefully I’ll convince more people so that in the future maybe even our sari-sari stores can sell them.

FEMININE HYGIENE It was that time of the month and I spent last wednesday at the mall frantically looking for man’s greatest invention for women. I spent almost 45 minutes combing the whole Glorietta mall looking for tampons. I was looking for a particular brand and type. And although I knew Rustans and other PX stores carried the product, I was disappointed when I came up empty handed after visiting these places. Its a fact that it is not commonly used by pinays but it was ridiculous that I couldnt find one store that sold it. I went to the last PX store I knew and was relieved to find they had Playtex- but only the regular one in 8-pc packs. I found myself buying boxes of it even though it wasnt the one I preferred. I wonder why there are no local manufacturers of tampons. Its a shame that it hasnt been embraced by Filipinas. I guess everyone has heard about the urban legend involving the tampon.

One day this woman was unfortunate to have her tampon get stuck inside her. It was on the same day that she had plans to go on a blind date. She quickly rushed to the hospital where the Gyne happened to be an attractive man. She had no choice but to allow him to grope inside her just to get the tampon out. She went home after to prepare for her date. In the evening her doorbell rang signalling the arrival of her blind date. She opened the door and her mouth fell……..standing outside was her blind date……the Gyne!

And thats just one. I myself did not care to use it for fear of it getting stuck inside me. So its really a blessing that a friend convinced me to use it. And now Im sorry that I had to spend 20 years of my menstrual life without it. Benefits:

• Makes daily activities a lot easier to do
• Imagine not feeling the bulk of a pad or feeling like there’s something sticking between your legs
• Imagine not having to worry about stains
• Imagine being able to run without fear of your pad falling off
• Imagine being able to participate in sports without having to feel constricted
• Imagine being able to go swimming without fear of your period leaking once you get out of the water
• Imagine being able to wear a thong even during your period! (greatest benefit)

Downside:

• Hard to find as only PX stores or Rustans sell them
• One box of 8 is more expensive than 6 packs of Whisper pads

Here are the different tampons Ive seen sold here and that Ive tried:

TAMPAX are the most expensive of the lot but work best for me. Even their regular ones beat the supers of the other brands. Plus its environment friendly using cardboard applicators.

PLAYTEX are 50% more cheaper than TAMPAX but are also 50% less absorbent. Perfect for lighter flows. Not environment friendly as its applicator is made of plastic.

OB TAMPONS…..umm…..umm….I still have the ones I got for free at a badminton tournament (it was included in the freebies) stashed at a drawer somewhere. It has no applicator plus its too small for comfort (well personally – its size makes me doubt its effectivity).

So for all ladies out there….go out and try it. Dont worry about TSS. Get yourself educated to make your worries disappear and start getting comfortable about having your period every month. Pads are so last season. Tampons rock!

(C)

** Pictures courtesy of their website.