Sacrifice is relative. You cannot and should not easily judge the validity just because you feel it to be such easy task. It may be chicken to you, but a monster to others. The real question is will you give up what you feel so strongly against because the men you so love gaze upon you with pleading eyes to “Please oh please buy a dog Mom!”.

You see I really do not like pets, dogs or cats. Fish I could consider but my kids (and my husband) want a dog. I know I know I am so mean, but I do seriously feel that our lives would change a lot once a dog has entered into the picture. With all the stress at work and outside work, I don’t think I can take having a dog invade our space. Ok MY space.

I have always told my kids that they can have a dog when they are old enough to take care of it. At 6 and 3 years of age, I doubt they can and would probably leave it to me, my hubby or the yaya’s to take care of it. I will not allow that. So I guess no pets for now. Maybe in 2 years or so.

 

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My husband, months ago sent me an article that firmly stated how you can avoid broken marriages by simply putting your marriage first before your kids. I think he was trying to send me a message (subtle Dear, really). In fact, a similar article that I found over the Internet says that putting your spouse first in your marriage yields healthier and happier kids. Yet another article starts that we are shooting ourselves in the foot by making our children the center of our universe.

I agree. I believe in that one hundred percent. But I am here to take on another aspect of that prioritization. The one wherein you become the middleman between your spouse and your parents or family. In a culture where every member of your family and its extensions all vie for your attention, it makes it a challenge to maintain an independent relationship without offending anyone. You are torn between being a good daughter or son as you were always taught or being a good wife or husband which you have always been taught as well. This is aggravated by our own trait often abused… indebtedness.

So you end up trying hard to please everyone, making excuses for one or the other, running around like a lost mouse confused and nervous. It become a tiring exercise that eventually you come to dread special occasions like birthdays, Christmas and weekends.

The worst thing is, this is all seen and absorbed by the very young and very impressionable minds of your children. So they grow up wondering if it is only but normal to do the same thing to their spouse or to their future children. It is like trying to teach your child to not smoke while holding your own cigarette in your hand.

What do you do? All articles center on one thing and that is – to grow up. The only way you can live your life your way is to stand up for what you believe and move forward with it regardless of how many members of your family object to it. You have grown. You are married. You should then be able to make your own decisions that you know in the long run will help make your marriage last and your children smile forever.

I must say that I learned the best life lessons growing up. Didn’t you?

My behavior as a wife and mom is largely influenced by how I was brought up, what I was taught in school, from mistakes I had done, and by watching my own parents while I was growing up.

The most important lesson that I chose to write about today I learned not from my husband but from my parents. I watched them be the number 1 to each other. I watched them make each other happy that eventually made us appreciate the peace and togetherness we enjoyed.