Re-posted from apples-pie.

I came across this article from Inquirer.net while researching about something that was mentioned by Katrina Legarda in our IWD celebration. It gave more insight into what I have observed in my short stay in Singapore and what has been a-buzz among my friends who are either abroad or are left behind by wives or husbands who are working in Singapore, Malaysia, Dubai, UK, and the US.

What is now a topic in several articles, of several public speakers in the past months has always been a known fact by the Filipino people. Family abandonment is not new to you and me. It should not be and if it is to you, then you must have been in a cave for the past years or are too young to be reading this post.

I was in Singapore on vacation in 2001 when my eyes were first opened to this alarming statistic…

Now Singapore to me is sort of an extension of our country. I often call it a Philippine province for the large percent of Filipinos that make up the country’s population. You won’t feel out of place or apprehensive to be in a foreign country as you might find your neighbor is a fellow Filipino.

…Going back to my anecdote… I stayed with friends when I was there. And like all pinoys in a foreign country, they were all excited to have other pinoys visit. Like it gave them all an excuse to go out, enjoy, gather together, have a party, eat out, and spend money. I met more Filipinos on my stay there (as if I did not know enough here… hehe). I built lasting friendships even. It was surprising given that I only stayed for two weeks. It was during those two weeks that I learned how this guy was a husband of this girl back in Manila - but here in Singapore he lived a “single” life (if you know what I mean). I saw how this girl who had a husband and kids back in Manila - lived the life of a wife to another man in Singapore. I observed many men - with multiple families… with many more stories to tell.

Having seen all that, with one even happening to a very close friend of mine, I went home disillusioned. I swore I will not allow my would-be husband to work in another country - not as long as I can help it. And its not because Im paranoid or suspicious, I just feel strongly about avoiding the temptations just because they are there. So if the opportunity is there for my husband, then I will go and pack up the kids and travel with him. It goes the same with me. I also dont want to work abroad without bringing my whole family with me. Good thing, sweetie really does not have the desires to find work abroad.

In reality, family abandonment can happen even without the “foreign country” factor. I cannot count the many times I have seen cases like these featured in ABS-CBN’s KKK TV show. I guess that factor just makes it easier for those who leave to live a double life (or even a triple one).

Hold departure orders will never resolve the cases of family abandonment. And locally, no one can stop a person from riding a bus bound for Manila just because he/she is abandoning his/her family right? Its just not feasible.

What can we do then? Is it really hopeless?

I say nothing should be.. hopeless I mean.

Katrina Legarda mentioned in her talk on Law and Women (not verbatim)… “The law states that both parents should be responsible in providing for their family. 50-50. That means that you dont get to play house or go to the mall while your husband or wife is abroad.”

Tsk tsk. Wouldnt a lot of people be sad to hear that..