Making it work: working mom’s struggle

June 24, 2007 | Filed in: Motherhood, Parenting

I work in the industry of infomation technology. We support several international clients which means my work does not stop when the clock ticks at 5′o clock PM. So although I can physically leave the office, most often than not - work follows me home. Seems like a normal thing for today’s working women, but it becomes a challenge when you have got a husband and two kids to take care of.
And that is why my friends and I had this secret dream of just becoming a full time housewife. We dreamt of cooking and baking with the kids… of taking them to school and meeting up afterwards to go to a salon and get our nails done. Then we pick up the kids and play with them all afternoon before settling down to prepare dinner for the husband who will soon come home. It was a dream life.

Yeah, what a dream…

Now onto the real world. It isn’t easy working the IT scene when you have got a family to take care of. The situations, scenarios, demands, stress are not very good to someone with a lot of other personal demands and obligations. I know of some who have resigned their job to look for a less-demanding one just because they were getting married. Others have resigned to become full time housewives. Many… have stayed though. They seemed to make it work. What are the things you can do to make being a working mom work for you?

Choose a company that has policies in place that are considerate of working mothers.

- It doesnt have to be an 8-5 desk job. Many of those types of companies will look down on you for leaving early to attend to a family emergency. That’s not what you would want. Being a working mother means you have to accept that kids get into accidents, get sick out of the blue and at the most untimely fashion. Imagine if you are not able to leave work to attend to them just because your boss has said he will sack you if you do.

Make sure that the company you work for has benefits in place to cover paid maternity leaves.

- I think that’s clear enough.

Inquire if you’re company has flexible work options.

This means that they allow you to come in to work at certain times not necessarily at 8am. Or to some it means having the option of compressing your work days so that you get to have 1 day off. And to others, it means having the company provide you resources so that you could do your work at home (i.e. laptop, mobile phone etc).

Employ trustworthy nannies.

- Now this is one of those things that are really hard to find - trustworthy nannies. I have had my share of scares from previous nannies that I really do not want to go through again. But nannies are really essential if you do not have anyone to take care of your kids and cannot afford not to work.

Ask your family for help.

- Many people do not realize that they can turn to their families for help. Doting grandmothers are very welcoming of taking in your kids while you go to work. Plus you already know how they are with kids. They raised you didnt they?

Make sure you spend quality time with your kids.

I know, I know. If you think about it - we spend about 75% of our waking hours working. The measly 25% is where we cramp all our time with our family, our friends, our extended families, chores, extracurriculars. If you do not use that time wisely then indeed your family (husband and kids) will suffer the impact of that situation. So play with your kids before they go to bed at night. Spend a weekend with your husband. Take a family vacation!

See? It isnt that hard… haha. Nahh… it really is. But the one thing I guarantee is that all the hardships and sacrifices are worth it.

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16 Comments so far

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hurrah for working moms - i do admire you for being able to balance career and motherhood. and hurrah, too, for companies who are family-oriented…may they prosper.

@raqgold - yeah hurray indeed. Thanks for your comment. I do my best and I am really grateful that I work for a company that supports all about my being a mom.

kudos to you. it’s really hard to get the balance between work and family, and having a family-friendly job is a great bonus.

i do have a flexitime here at work and most companies here in europe naman are considerate about working moms. i do travel tho, so that adds up to the challenge.

Hi! Bloghopped from PMN. It IS an everyday struggle for a working mom. Although I work part-time only, every minute that I’m not with my baby is a struggle. A lot of faith is needed to be able to leave your child with a nanny. I think a lot of companies are moving towards being more supportive to working mothers. Good for us!

I am a working single mum, when I started working my daugther have to stay in the long day care centre and when she was in primary school she has to stay in after school care until I finish work. . . it is hard . . . but as you have said balance is important, quality time.

@analyse - Thanks for visiting. Is it true that there are countries in Europe that have a 6-month maternity leave policy? I heard that the Philippines has the shortest duration for maternity leave.

@andrea - I wish I worked part time - even work at home is better I think than being in the office all day. A lot of companies I think have realized that women are great workers and to keep them happy in the workplace, they need to be considerate of these challenges. Thanks for dropping by!

@MM del Rosario - Do you stay in the Philippines? I tried looking into day care centers before to look after my kids when I couldn’t find a nanny but it isn’t widespread here. And the ones that I did find are way expensive.

It is hard to balance work time and family time. I used to be a part time WAHM and part time SAHM. I still am, working away from home 11am-7pm MTW and spending Th-Sun either in our own home or at MIL’s home (technically still our home because it is there where I have a small room made for teaching, a mere 10 minutes away from us) but still working, doing tutorials. I miss real stay-at-home days during the three days I go elsewhere to teach. But then, I can bring the two little ones with me to both places so I still get the best of both worlds: working and being with the children. Well, maybe not all because the house needs some serious cleaning up.

It’s funny that I came across your blog and this entry in particular. After working for so many years, I recently gave up my career to give birth to and take care of my 2nd child who is now a little over 1 yr old. I’ve recently started to look for work again because (I know it might sound bad), I’m really not cut out to just stay at home. I miss my financial independence most of all. I’m clueless about where to look for part-time work though. I know how it feels because I was a working Mom for SO LONG. It’s really no easy task. Congratulations to you for being able to pull it off!

Julie - I envy you… you got it all!

Patty - Its great that you were able to give up work to take care of your kids. I’m afraid we just cant afford it right now. But I can dream, and my husband says eventually we will get there. I just pray that it will not be too far away. Like you though, I am not the type to not-work. I may have to keep a part time job to keep my financial independence. Thanks for visiting!

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Hi! My name is ApplesH. I am a 30-something corporate slave kept alive by a steady stream of instant, brewed or flavored coffee. I can cook, clean, and drive like a maniac. I am also a devoted, demanding, and passionate wife. To my boys, I am a fiercely protective, doting, and proud mother. I am crazy about my husband and my kids. This is my life and here is my story.

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