The allure of a single mom

July 28, 2007 | Filed in: Motherhood

There’s something about single moms. Some say its an aura that surrounds them. Some say its the way they carry themselves. Some even say there’s a certain smell of a single mom. Many profess to spot one from a mile away.

A lot of people think that there is something so pitiful about having to bear a child out of wedlock. Imagine having to carry a bulge for nine months without the security of a wedding ring and another man’s surname. As if security really goes with a gold band and some dude’s family tree.

Andrea wrote a very nice post about single motherhood depicting the realities that single mother’s face in the workplace. Despite the many challenges that one mom may face, it should not become a reason to be pitied.

So let me highlight what single moms are aim to change the way society views them.

Single moms are confident. Probably because of the difficulties they have had to face, the strength that comes out of overcoming the challenges give these moms the confidence that is evident in their eyes, in their face, in their walk.

Single moms are not confused. After making life-changing decisions, the roads are clearer for them. They suddenly know what they want and know exactly how they want to get it.

Single moms are NOT sex-hungry. This is a common misconception when single moms start dating again. The minute that you tell your date you are a single mom, it suddenly gives them the impression that you would gladly jump into bed with them. Many men would even go far as to ask outright when on your date. At least I had several very uncomfortable dates when that happened to me. I mean really, I don’t think I have “do me” written on my forehead.

Single moms are superheroes. Many have been known to bow out to defeat when faced with single-handedly taking care of a one month old child, at the same time going to work to earn a living, also making sure that all the child’s needs are met, and basically trying not to trip over themselves while carrying the stigma of an unwed mother. It is not an easy life to be a single mom. We should praise them not insult them.

Single moms are beautiful. Need I say more?

15 Comments so far

I can’t imagine what it is like raising 2 kids on your own. When my son was smaller, as the burden of taking care of our baby mostly rests on my shoulder I learned to appreciate more how my husband were able to provide for us. I just can’t imagine the enormity of the task of doing both. Kudos to you!

Oooops, I just read your previous entry. Please disregard the last line of my previous comment. haha

Geri - That’s ok. I apologize if I confused you. But I was a single mom for two years before I met my husband. At that time, it was only me, my son and my trusted yaya in a one bedroom apartment that was too small for my kid to run around in. It was hard and I am happy that at least some of the hardship is shared.

[...] Read more… [...]

single moms are indeed beautiful! am sure your kids are proud of you.

Nice post, Apples.

But you know, I know of single moms (yes, several) who did the multi-dadding. Then they have had strings of boyfriends. Now, that is an irony because it seems like they didn’t “learn a lesson”. But then , who am I to judge them?

I am glad you finally found joy and love in your family. The things you went through must have made you a stronger and better person.

raqgold - Thank you. I hope they are or realize they are once they are all grown up and then tell me too.

julie - I agree that there are several single moms who are like that. And I can only say maybe some people are incapable of dealing with difficult situations (whether they are single moms or not) and keep trying to find an environment where they feel they can fit in.

It takes guts to trek the path of single-mommyhood. It’s hard and it’s a path filled with both trials and temptations. That is why I truly admire women who make a go of their decision to do it. And to succeed is really an enormous effort. Good for you that you were able to do it in the past. Good that you were able to find a wonderful man who understood

Kongkong622 - Right you are there. It is hard and those who choose to go that path are in for a life of constant heartache. I can only say it isn’t easy but looking back I am very thankful God gave me the strength to survive it. I can’t imagine not being without my eldest son and I probably wouldn’t forgive myself if I had let anything happen to him.

I admire the courage and confidence of single moms. Most of all because they didn’t resort to abortion but had compassion for their unborn child even if they knew how our society treats unwed mothers.

Cheers to all moms, especially the bravest of the lot - the single moms!

Christianne - Abortion is the easy way out… easy but painful way I guess. But deep inside, I still feel it should not be the easy way out for anyone because how can anyone live knowing she “aborted” a life?

A well-written post Apples! I, for one, couldn’t imagine going through pregnancy and caring for my child without my husband to help out. That’s why I admire single moms. Also, a single mom is quite a catch - not clingy and dependent

Thanks Andrea! Do you know that we have the same name. Although I am more popularly known as Apples, my real name is Andrea.

When I was pregnant with my first child, it was such a blessing to have my parents and friends take care of me. I couldnt have borne it without them.

[...] a single mother carries with it a stigma that is hard to shake off. Most of the time, they are either thought of as [...]

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