Mother of 2

Today is my son’s last day in school before they go on a two-week semestral break. It is also the day for parents to meet with the teachers to discuss their kids progress in school.

I am unsure why I keep thinking PTA (Parent Teacher Association) but I feel this meeting has come to be called just that.

His teacher then presented me with my son’s report card. It reminded me of my own back when I was still struggling through grade school. This time though instead of the familiar grades of 80, 85, 90… there written were 1, 2, 3, and 4 with 1 being the highest grade given. And instead of seeing subjects like Math and English, what was listed were school activities like - use of pencil and crayon, recognizing letters and numbers, initiating activities with other kids and the like.

I felt like a proud mama as my kids grades were mostly 2’s and 3’s. There were several 1’s too which made me smile even more. My eyes fell when I saw the lone 4. It was beside “sharing own ideas in class”. His teacher confirmed that my kid was still very shy. He was not comfortable participating in class and would often be made to remain standing until he completed his recitation.

Its hard to believe, I know, that my kid would turn out shy when I myself am very talkative, vocal, assertive and have no problems speaking or presenting in front of an audience (in fact I love it - hehe). But then it may just be a phase as I vaguely remember a shy version of myself when I was still very young. That was a very short phase.

I feel torn. When I look at my eldest son, I can’t help but think that in a few years he will be going to grown up school already. I want to stop time… maybe keep him a baby forever… my baby. But I also want him to grow up and experience the world. Become a good person.

Now I feel like crying. What a mess I am.