The obvious difference

November 18, 2007 | Filed in: Personal

I brought my two sons to a birthday party today. There were lots of spaghetti and chicken. There were pink, red, blue , green and white balloons scattered on the floor and on chairs. There were kids running all around, screaming, crying, screeching. For a minute there, I lost focus on my own kids and felt like they disappeared beneath all the shirts and jeans and sneakers.

Because I also brought my kid’s nannies with me, I was able to relax and let me kids roam around. As I watched them play, I mused on how different these two human beings are. They were both formed out of my own genes but if you really think about it, they are as different as night and day.

I wonder… how much of themselves were really formed out of me?

My eldest son is very shy. He is often insecure and needs a lot of time before becoming comfortable with anyone. He is very attached to me, to my parents and my brother. Once he has gotten used to a person, a thing or an activity, it is difficult to take that away from him or him away from them. He is cautious and wary. He hates sudden movement, crowds, loud voices. His surroundings have to be calm otherwise, he becomes agitated.

My youngest son is mischievous. He loves to make faces and loves to make people laugh. He is unafraid and assertive. He is a copycat and is quick to mimic anything that he sees me and the people around him do. He looks up to his big brother and follows him all around. He runs after cats, dogs, and ducks although he runs away from house mice. He is demanding and can show clearly what he wants or doesn’t want.

I sink deeper in my thoughts as I try to rationalize… the way I always do.

Do I really want them to be so alike? No. Do I really want them to talk, walk, act and feel the same? No. It is a blessing that they are as different as they are. They actually complement each other. One would always take care of the other.

I feel happy. I am not worried. I have great kids.

10 Comments so far

[...] Read more…. [...]

my sis and i are somewhat like your sons, too much differences, not only with the way we react to things and we handle life.. but also physically.. she’s got fair complexion while i’m the negra of the family.

Hi ApplesH! My first time to comment here. These are great thoughts that every parent shares I think. Unless you are running a military platoon, I agree that we have to let our children be their individual selves. I have triplets (two girls and boy) so you can imagine the social pressure on me to make them dress alike and have everything else alike.
I did a similar post on my girls here and on my three kids here. Even with multiples (twins, triplets, etc…) you have to let them define themselves.

analyse - I guess I should say its the same with me and my siblings. We are different in looks, likes, and dislikes. But one thing I did notice is how our core values are the same. And it is a result of how we were brought up by our parents. I hope it will be the same with my kids.

MegaMom - Ohmy. Your nick truly is apt I think for having triplets. I cannot imagine the chaos that you experience on a daily basis. Before, I wished I would have twins - but it was more from a selfish motive than anything else. I thought - you get pregnant only once but deliver two so that will be minus another 9 months of discomfort. But seriously, I dont think I have “it” to take care of twins. Cheers to you!!

[...] with everyday family conflicts. These conflicts include a gay brother, a controversial sister, sibling rivalry, dealing with mom, a mistress, sterility, and competition between husbands and [...]

[...] that everyone gets packed, fed and ready to go is not an easy feat. This is especially with 2 boys… well 3 if you count my hubby. Haha. Still we arrived early enough to park easily and jump in [...]

[...] is good, but being with my family is best. I want to be there for every smile, tear, and wound that my kids have. I want to be the one to prepare my husband’s coffee every morning. I want to be the one [...]

[...] another child affect my lifestyle? I can only say - Yes of course! Two lovable but active boys already take up too much of my time. I cannot imagine where I will get the time or energy to go [...]

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