Comments on: Divorce http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/ personal blog of a Filipina mother of 2 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 15:39:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Marrying a foreigner | Mother of 2 | personal blog of a Filipina mother of 2 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-2565 Marrying a foreigner | Mother of 2 | personal blog of a Filipina mother of 2 Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:23:00 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-2565 [...] was not an arranged marriage, nor was it a marriage of convenience (for the sake of a green card). My cousin and her boyfriend [...] [...] was not an arranged marriage, nor was it a marriage of convenience (for the sake of a green card). My cousin and her boyfriend [...]

]]> By: indian man http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-386 indian man Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:34:11 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-386 Don't generalize all Indians. There are at least 2000 different ethnic groups in India and many cultural practices. Among forward minded and educated Christian Indians such things don't exist. Arranged marriages are barbaric. There is no real love in that marriage, they marry only to please others. That marriage has no love, no compatibility , they remain stuck in it for rest of their lives only to please others. Arranged marriages have low divorce rates just to save face, in reality, they are divorced already in their hearts. Affairs are rampant in arranged marriages. When someone marries, you marry someone because you need him/her in your life and can't live without him/her and part of him/her in your life. No matter what race, what ethnicity or nation he/she may come from. And to such things as social pressure that is a lie. Those who succumb to such social pressure are weak nothing more nothing less. If their parents or relatives force them and threaten them saying "if you don't marry him/her we cut you out of our lives " = blackmail simple as that. No true parent will cut or destroy their son or daughter out just because their son and daughter refuse to get into bed with someone they don't want to get. Real love is all about accepting you as who you are and being there fore you no matter what. I am Indian,take it from me, I left India and moved on. I will marry any woman i love from any nation on earth. Ultimately i know i will be loved by people around me and will always have social support, depending on with whom i make friends. There are millions of Indians who don't go for arrange marriage, who have married with women and men from all over the world. They dont give a hoot about what some blackmailer thinks AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF INDIANS MARRIED HAPPILY TO FILIPINAS AND OTHER NATIONALITIES. Don’t generalize all Indians. There are at least 2000 different ethnic groups in India and many cultural practices. Among forward minded and educated Christian Indians such things don’t exist.

Arranged marriages are barbaric. There is no real love in that marriage, they marry only to please others. That marriage has no love, no compatibility , they remain stuck in it for rest of their lives only to please others. Arranged marriages have low divorce rates just to save face, in reality, they are divorced already in their hearts. Affairs are rampant in arranged marriages.

When someone marries, you marry someone because you need him/her in your life and can’t live without him/her and part of him/her in your life. No matter what race, what ethnicity or nation he/she may come from.

And to such things as social pressure that is a lie. Those who succumb to such social pressure are weak nothing more nothing less. If their parents or relatives force them and threaten them saying “if you don’t marry him/her we cut you out of our lives ” = blackmail simple as that.

No true parent will cut or destroy their son or daughter out just because their son and daughter refuse to get into bed with someone they don’t want to get.

Real love is all about accepting you as who you are and being there fore you no matter what.

I am Indian,take it from me, I left India and moved on. I will marry any woman i love from any nation on earth.

Ultimately i know i will be loved by people around me and will always have social support, depending on with whom i make friends.

There are millions of Indians who don’t go for arrange marriage, who have married with women and men from all over the world.

They dont give a hoot about what some blackmailer thinks

AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF INDIANS MARRIED HAPPILY TO FILIPINAS AND OTHER NATIONALITIES.

]]> By: Doodee http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-339 Doodee Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:37:47 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-339 Thanks for sharing Thanks for sharing

]]> By: ApplesH http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-296 ApplesH Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:31:07 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-296 Gloria - I think your grandparents are examples of what commitment really means. Oftentimes, even with people we have chosen ourselves, we encounter obstacles that make it too tempting to just give up and go. Many do. Others stay. With marriages that are not arranged, the choice should not stop at who you will marry. You will have to continue to make the same choice every waking day of your life. At the end of the day, that what counts the most. Gloria – I think your grandparents are examples of what commitment really means. Oftentimes, even with people we have chosen ourselves, we encounter obstacles that make it too tempting to just give up and go. Many do. Others stay.

With marriages that are not arranged, the choice should not stop at who you will marry. You will have to continue to make the same choice every waking day of your life. At the end of the day, that what counts the most.

]]> By: Gloria Mc http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-295 Gloria Mc Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:48:47 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-295 Oh, BTW!! The marriage of my grandfather and grandmother was arranged. Both families owned huge plantations. My grandfather married only out of obligation. But, 9 kids later and dozens and dozens of grandchildren and great-grandchildren.. Who's gonna protest?! Oh, BTW!! The marriage of my grandfather and grandmother was arranged. Both families owned huge plantations. My grandfather married only out of obligation. But, 9 kids later and dozens and dozens of grandchildren and great-grandchildren.. Who’s gonna protest?!

]]> By: Gloria Mc http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-294 Gloria Mc Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:43:24 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-294 Hi! I am Fil-Am and once was very deeply in love with a British-Indian man. His older brother had already married inter-racially and it had been a devastating thing to their father. Our romance had no chance. Once his friends and family found out about me, he was given every reason why he should let me go. He did and eventually was introduced to an Indian woman that he liked and that the family approved of. He married her and I can only imagine that with the support and involvement of such a family around them, they have built a loving family and home for themselves. I think now that ANY type of marriage where extended family members are lovingly and actively concerned is more likely to be successful. I would not have been happy with him living so far from my own family. And, he probably would've had a difficult time balancing a foreign wife with his family. Even though that experience was heartbreaking for me, it opened up my eyes to the fact that different doesn't always mean wrong. Hi! I am Fil-Am and once was very deeply in love with a British-Indian man. His older brother had already married inter-racially and it had been a devastating thing to their father. Our romance had no chance. Once his friends and family found out about me, he was given every reason why he should let me go. He did and eventually was introduced to an Indian woman that he liked and that the family approved of. He married her and I can only imagine that with the support and involvement of such a family around them, they have built a loving family and home for themselves. I think now that ANY type of marriage where extended family members are lovingly and actively concerned is more likely to be successful.
I would not have been happy with him living so far from my own family. And, he probably would’ve had a difficult time balancing a foreign wife with his family. Even though that experience was heartbreaking for me, it opened up my eyes to the fact that different doesn’t always mean wrong.

]]> By: The meaning of Christmas | Personal | personal blog of a Filipina mother of 2 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-275 The meaning of Christmas | Personal | personal blog of a Filipina mother of 2 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:33:44 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-275 [...] will never be complete as long as my family is not whole. And with the way things are going, this is how it will remain to [...] [...] will never be complete as long as my family is not whole. And with the way things are going, this is how it will remain to [...]

]]> By: ApplesH http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-271 ApplesH Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:51:40 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-271 indo australian - Being of Indian origin, you would have insight on how it really is with Indian practices and concepts. I think it is good that you had a choice to live your life the way you want it. Although divorce is a reality, I do not think anyone (anyone sane hehe) sets out to wish it for themselves. I still feel that people believe in love and commitment regardless of what happens in between. Personally, I cannot imagine getting divorced but more so getting married or at least spending the rest of my life with someone I do not know. indo australian – Being of Indian origin, you would have insight on how it really is with Indian practices and concepts. I think it is good that you had a choice to live your life the way you want it.

Although divorce is a reality, I do not think anyone (anyone sane hehe) sets out to wish it for themselves. I still feel that people believe in love and commitment regardless of what happens in between.

Personally, I cannot imagine getting divorced but more so getting married or at least spending the rest of my life with someone I do not know.

]]> By: indo australian http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-270 indo australian Wed, 26 Dec 2007 06:16:23 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-270 I am an Australian of Indian origin, I am married to a Filipina woman we both are Christians, this concept of arranged marraige is very dangerous and outdated, mostly hindus and muslims practice this system, Christians on the other hand are more open minded and get to know the person that God brings in their life and if it is right they get married because they love each other 90% of Arranged marraiges in India are loveless, no feelings, like total strangers it is done out of pressure, out of money reasons, out of prestige reasons, some chinese , arab and japanese also do the same. urbanized areas of India, this concept is fast changing, and marriages out of choice are becoming a common place. Who is crazy to marry a total stranger ? when the real person meant for you is out there somewhere. makes no sense. I am an Australian of Indian origin, I am married to a Filipina woman we both are Christians, this concept of arranged marraige is very dangerous and outdated, mostly hindus and muslims practice this system, Christians on the other hand are more open minded and get to know the person that God brings in their life and if it is right they get married because they love each other

90% of Arranged marraiges in India are loveless, no feelings, like total strangers it is done out of pressure, out of money reasons, out of prestige reasons, some chinese , arab and japanese also do the same.

urbanized areas of India, this concept is fast changing, and marriages out of choice are becoming a common place.

Who is crazy to marry a total stranger ? when the real person meant for you is out there somewhere. makes no sense.

]]> By: ApplesH http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-267 ApplesH Fri, 21 Dec 2007 14:37:09 +0000 http://apples-pie.com/mother-of-two/2007/12/17/divorce/#comment-267 crazy4pinays - Thanks for your thoughts. You are right in a lot of ways especially about staying together even if there is freedom to leave. Here in the Phils., majority still have a high regard for marriage, but many already do not.. many others do not even believe in marriage anymore and some still fantasize about the perfect wedding to the man of their dreams. And while I grew up believing that two people who live together are always married and divorce is not an idea that is entertained, I am no longer shocked about the different relationships/arrangements that I have witnessed. Like most people (I think), I dont like to be put in a situation where divorce is an option. But knowing myself, I can never live with somebody who I did not choose to be with in the first place. But that's me and I am just blessed that the man I chose, also chose me. :) crazy4pinays – Thanks for your thoughts. You are right in a lot of ways especially about staying together even if there is freedom to leave.

Here in the Phils., majority still have a high regard for marriage, but many already do not.. many others do not even believe in marriage anymore and some still fantasize about the perfect wedding to the man of their dreams. And while I grew up believing that two people who live together are always married and divorce is not an idea that is entertained, I am no longer shocked about the different relationships/arrangements that I have witnessed.

Like most people (I think), I dont like to be put in a situation where divorce is an option. But knowing myself, I can never live with somebody who I did not choose to be with in the first place. But that’s me and I am just blessed that the man I chose, also chose me. :)

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