How many children do you really want? If money, space, and time were no object, how many children would you want to have?

I have always felt that the ideal was to have one boy and one girl child in the family. For many years, I harbored a strong desire to be blessed with a girl. In fact, we all thought (my OB-Gyne included) that my eldest would be a girl - after 3 ultrasounds confirmed it. I had a name and a plan which was shattered when I was presented with a baby boy while I was strapped at the table in the hospital’s delivery room. I must confess that my first reaction was more - huh? I know I have a girl - than the delayed happiness I truly felt.

Two and a half years later saw me delivering another boy. I was ecstatic… and happy… and still yearning to have a girl to call my own. Am I being selfish to want it so much? Am I ready to have another baby… even someone could guarantee this time it would be a girl?

These are the questions I ask myself every time I find myself musing about little girly steps…

Will another child affect my lifestyle? I can only say - Yes of course! Two lovable but active boys already take up too much of my time. I cannot imagine where I will get the time or energy to go through caring for a newborn baby without sacrificing time with my boys… not to mention my husband… and of course I still have my office job.

Can we afford it? Its a difficult question to answer without sounding too materialistic because in all honesty, I would give life and limb to make sure my family lives comfortably. But if I really really think about it… I do not think both my and my hubby’s income can afford the rent, food, and education of our two kids plus another one.

Am I still physically fit to have another one? I will be quick to say yes but my hubby may beg to disagree. I would like to think that I am still physically fit to run around with my two boys while I live without sleep caring for a newborn child. I shudder at the thought of dark circles around my eyes and wobbly knees. It might mean I have to change the vitamins I have been taking to something that would help me last the day without falling flat on my face.

Does your partner agree to having another child? Uhh… If I were to say out loud that I would like to have a girl, the answer to that question would be a flat out NO. If I can guarantee 110% that the next one would be a boy then he might not be too grouchy about it. Don’t take it the wrong way, my hubby loves kids… he is just too afraid to have girls. He is haunted by nightmares of boys trying to take advantage of his would-be child. It might just drive him mad. Harhar. What a thought.

So there… once in a while I look longingly at my friend’s little girls and wish I had one of my own. Am I just being selfish?