Can you ever deny your children?

What do you think is the worst thing your child can do to you that would lead you to disown him forever?  With my kids being 5 and 2 respectively, I cannot imagine one thing that would make me estranged from them. If I had to base it on my own experience, I recall a neighbor who had been disowned by her parents because she got pregnant at 17. I further recall how that scared my friends and I and made us wary of getting into a similar situation for fear of being run out of house and home.

I once heard a guy colleague talk about how he wouldn’t want to have his son turn out gay. He expressed that he would deny him as a son and probably even beat him up. I told him that he shouldn’t think that way and that whatever his child turns out to be the child will always be his. He just shook his head at me.

Despite my own feelings on the subject of renouncing a gay child, I must admit, not everyone can unconditionally accept the actions of one’s child or children. And many may expect that their mom is the only person who thinks they’re beautiful, but reality can ruin that thought if the children grow to become addicts, criminals, or pregnant at 17. And even when parents react differently to a child’s religious or sexual orientation, it does not necessarily mean that parents do not love their children.

I got myself into a terrible situation when I was 27. It was terrible enough that I expected to be sent away by my parents. Thankfully they did not. I remained in their loving arms only to be let loose 3 years later (that’s another story altogether). Nevertheless, my opinion and my parents opinion of the gravity of what I had done still differs to this day. I don’t blame them. I cannot be sure they do not blame me but I just hope they are forgiving enough that it is because of this reality that life is like this today.

But that’s me. I have always had the resilience of a warrior woman so I am confident in my ability to live through this. I cannot say the same for those close to me who I love very much. It is because of what I have gone through that I feel bad about a similar scenario happening to someone I care about. It is not fair. He has not done anything to deserve this.

I am so sorry bro. I know you will smile and shrug and say it doesn’t matter but I know the truth. No worries though, I will be there for you like you have been there for me and my family through all these years. I cannot change the thoughts or decisions that have already been made nor protect you from the events that have yet to unfold as you push through with what your heart desires. I can only say I love you and you will live through every single day being happy for yourself and for your family.

Life is never easy or even simple. But who ever said life can never be happy. Congratulations bro. :)

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4 Comments so far

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but you know what, everything would be okay in the end. am an optimist :D sometimes things needed to settle down first, it happened to our family too but now, ika nga, we live happily ever after. and i salute you for your sisterly support.

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raqgold - I would like to think I am an optimist but I must confess I am not. But this works for me I guess. I do not go out and jinx everything but rather am more accepting of the things happening to me. I sometimes wish I can change things but then realize there’s only so much I can do.

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I heard this line before and believe it to be true: “This too shall pass”. Challenges will be faced and conquered depending on how we handle it. Think positive and pray.

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mixednuts - I have had my fair share of things that indeed passed… so I am a believer that “this too shall pass”. Thanks!

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Hi! My name is ApplesH. I am a 30-something corporate slave kept alive by a steady stream of instant, brewed or flavored coffee. I can cook, clean, and drive like a maniac. I am also a devoted, demanding, and passionate wife. To my boys, I am a fiercely protective, doting, and proud mother. I am crazy about my husband and my kids. This is my life and here is my story.

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