Mother of 2

I have often read about topics delving into the middle child syndrome. Apparently, a child in belonging to this birth order exhibits such unique and interesting behavior that a title has been given to it.

I wonder why I rarely (or never) hear about being the older child. I don’t necessarily mean eldest child, but older child. I feel that anyone who has a younger sibling will experience a sort of older child syndrome.

When I was young, I recall constant reminders to be the better sibling, just because I was older, bigger and presumably wiser. I witness the same being said by many other parents to their kids. I used to recall hating it. I hated and resented having to be the older child. I wanted to play, demand, run around, be immature, roll in the mud and not be reprimanded for it. I did not want to be the role model for my younger sisters. I wanted to fight back when they teased me and pinched me. I wanted to be a kid and not an adult.

Its funny because now that I am a mother of two, I observe that I am guilty of doing the same thing to my kids. I don’t think that children should fall under any syndrome middle, older or otherwise so every time I notice myself saying things like – "let him have be, he is younger than you", or "don’t fight back, he is younger and doesn’t know what he is doing" – I check myself and try to say something that would make more sense to my kids than justifying an action just because of age or birth order.

I want my kids to grow up strong, independent, willful, kind but no doormat. These days when size or age is no longer an issue, I find it so wrong to bring up a child thinking he owes something to people just because of these two factors.

What do you think?