Mother of 2

A month ago, about the same time that my father passed away, a very close friend of mine sent me a message that she was going through in vitro fertilization for the nth time. My friend has been trying to get pregnant for years, ever since she married her husband several years ago. When all else failed, they turned to in vitro fertilization, a method of assisted reproduction where the man’s sperm and the woman’s egg is combined in a laboratory dish where fertilization occurs.

Unfortunately, after the nth time of trying and spending hundreds of dollars for the procedure, the result is still negative. I am personally incapable of saying anything that would provide consolation. I have never had difficulty conceiving a child. As a matter of fact, I have to work hard not to get pregnant otherwise, our family would be one of those listed in the Guinness book of world records. I could only feel for her. I knew that it was a depressing and challenging time for her. I wished then that pregnancy were contagious so that somehow I could send some fertility vibes in her direction.

That is why I hate hearing or reading about people who hurt their kids or abandon their kids or terminate their pregnancies simply because they are not ready to have kids, or feel they do not have the time or the space for a kid or they cannot be inconvenienced by a kid or is a kid herself and cannot bear the shame of a bulging belly at age 14. Many people would give an arm and a leg just to be able to conceive and yet it is so easy for some people to disregard the gift of life they were given. I cannot guess what they must be going through but I also cannot understand it.

I hope my friend does not stop trying to conceive even with so many failed attempts. Sometimes there’s no end to the number of times we have to work to get what we most want. Strength is key and support is invaluable. Chin up G!