Mother of 2

A couple of days back my son went up to me and expressed, “Mommy I’m a loser”, with the hint of a smile. I felt he wanted me to either confirm that he was or that I would so kindly convince him he was not.

Backtrack to last week…

My two oh so cute boys were both chosen to escort their female classmates at the school pageant to celebrate the countrywide Linggo ng Wika (Philippine Language Week). Truth be told, they performed supporting roles to the center of attention but they were allowed to perform alongside their little princesses during the pageant’s talent portion.

My youngest of course was the leader of his pair’s dance number making the parent’s in the audience go “ooh” and “ahh” and clap their hands in apparent cuteness awe. My eldest was too macho shy to sing the song chosen by his partner.

At the end of the day, the little one of course won the award for Little Prince and the older one went home with none. The award came with a cheap sports trophy that my son possessively hugged as he showed it to me late that night.

That is the event that led to my son’s thinking that he is somehow a loser for coming home without an award. I was dumbstruck for a few minutes not knowing what to say or even how to say it. My mind was racing with thoughts of: “where the hell did he hear that word?” and “how did he learn that the word can be used in this negative way?”.

I immediately shook my head in disagreement, “Of course not!” I proceeded to tell him that not having a trophy does not make you a loser. I told him as a matter of fact that his brother won because he had more points as he performed a dance number with his partner. I encouraged him to overcome his shyness next time and participate when he is asked to. Maybe then he will get the award. I told him that if he wanted to be the winner, he had to work hard to be one. I wasn’t planning to buy him his own plastic trophy to ease his pain (was that harsh of me?).

My kids and I are in for a challenging life ahead. I am afraid that this will not be the first and last time that both kids will compare themselves, their lives, their achievements and their failures. All of that will affect how they grow, deal, survive in this world. And yet I am hopeful for I don’t want an easy life for them. An easy life will only make spoiled brats out of them and they will only blame me in the end.

So son, No you are not a loser. Far from it. And I will make sure that you and your brother will grow up as winners.