Mother of 2

Photos courtesy of Shelley S

Is there such a thing as too much studying? One of the things I worried about when I was pregnant with my first kid, was whether I can exert enough influence over their study habits to ensure they have a good future. I have seen many people throw away their future by letting their grades slip in school and I would not want that for my child.

I am now blessed with two boys and am so thankful that they display so much potential. They do well in school and although there are times they make it extremely difficult for me to get them to sit down and finish their homework, they have both managed to finish at the top of their class.

Now you would think I have nothing to worry about as I have it good. Nah. I do worry, constantly. You see I have two very different and unique boys. The eldest is very smart. He learns fast and works fast. However, he prefers to play rather than study his lessons. As for my youngest son, my 3-year old son, he prefers to study. He prefers to study rather than play. That’s a good thing. But he also prefers to study rather than sleep and even eat! And that is where I draw the line. I hope to have a smart kid but I would also like him to be well rounded and.. well normal. Children should be able to play and eat and dance around and make mistakes. I don’t want them to grow up and realize they missed a big chunk of their childhood just because I made them study “hard”.

So what do you think? Is there such a thing as too much studying?

I had already written about my own personal experience as I waited in agony for news of my mom and sister. Now I wanted to share a bit of what my family had to say. They were stranded on top of the roof of our family home for 2 nights as Typhoon Ondoy’s flood waters submerged the whole town of Cainta.

After seeing my family safe and dry and getting all the horror stories of their experience on the roof of our house, I promised myself I was going to write about it. Now, a day later and I couldn’t even type a word. I got too emotional just conjuring up the images that my young sister has seen and witnessed. Some of those include watching as young kids aged less than a year to 4 years brave their plight as they too sat beside her on that rooftop. I had felt helpless for 2 days but that was nothing compared to feeling helpless as an infant cries for milk but all you could give him was bear brand full cream milk as that was the only thing you had that you could give him.

My agony is nothing compared to the nightmares my mom and sister will have to brave through tonight and all other nights as they start to pick up the pieces and go back to their normal lives. Many other families will be plagued by nightmares as they try to cope with the loss of their loved ones, their property, their livelihood. Soon my family and other families will learn to move on and continue on their ways and last weekend’s tragedy will hopefully become just a shadow of a painful memory. Soon.

I would like to share the words of my mom…

I can now say I survived two days and one night on top of the roof of a neighbor’s house in Cainta – something I never dreamed I could do. Thanks to our “very efficient” mayor, Mon Ilagan, who did not seem to know what to do, we waited in vain for rescue which never came. Talk was that Cainta had really no disaster plan in place for any catastrophe, much less one in this magnitude. It was a harrowing experience for me, but I learned some really good lessons:

• a fancy cellphone has no use if there is no signal.
• I made a good choice when I did not vote for Mayor Ilagan.
• a pack of choc-nut and a half bottle of Coke Zero can keep you alive for 2 days.
• life is more important than a laptop
• in the most difficult time, man’s hidden generosity and nobility comes to fore.
• saying goodbye to my home for 37 years is not really as bad as it seems
• a strong faith, a loving family, will always pull you through.

I am now living in my son’s house but will soon get an apartment near him, in a high place in Quezon City. I don’t know if I can or will ever go back to live Cainta.

Pictures c/o Dan Saavedra

A couple of days back my son went up to me and expressed, “Mommy I’m a loser”, with the hint of a smile. I felt he wanted me to either confirm that he was or that I would so kindly convince him he was not.

Backtrack to last week…

My two oh so cute boys were both chosen to escort their female classmates at the school pageant to celebrate the countrywide Linggo ng Wika (Philippine Language Week). Truth be told, they performed supporting roles to the center of attention but they were allowed to perform alongside their little princesses during the pageant’s talent portion.

My youngest of course was the leader of his pair’s dance number making the parent’s in the audience go “ooh” and “ahh” and clap their hands in apparent cuteness awe. My eldest was too macho shy to sing the song chosen by his partner.

At the end of the day, the little one of course won the award for Little Prince and the older one went home with none. The award came with a cheap sports trophy that my son possessively hugged as he showed it to me late that night.

That is the event that led to my son’s thinking that he is somehow a loser for coming home without an award. I was dumbstruck for a few minutes not knowing what to say or even how to say it. My mind was racing with thoughts of: “where the hell did he hear that word?” and “how did he learn that the word can be used in this negative way?”.

I immediately shook my head in disagreement, “Of course not!” I proceeded to tell him that not having a trophy does not make you a loser. I told him as a matter of fact that his brother won because he had more points as he performed a dance number with his partner. I encouraged him to overcome his shyness next time and participate when he is asked to. Maybe then he will get the award. I told him that if he wanted to be the winner, he had to work hard to be one. I wasn’t planning to buy him his own plastic trophy to ease his pain (was that harsh of me?).

My kids and I are in for a challenging life ahead. I am afraid that this will not be the first and last time that both kids will compare themselves, their lives, their achievements and their failures. All of that will affect how they grow, deal, survive in this world. And yet I am hopeful for I don’t want an easy life for them. An easy life will only make spoiled brats out of them and they will only blame me in the end.

So son, No you are not a loser. Far from it. And I will make sure that you and your brother will grow up as winners.

Sacrifice is relative. You cannot and should not easily judge the validity just because you feel it to be such easy task. It may be chicken to you, but a monster to others. The real question is will you give up what you feel so strongly against because the men you so love gaze upon you with pleading eyes to “Please oh please buy a dog Mom!”.

You see I really do not like pets, dogs or cats. Fish I could consider but my kids (and my husband) want a dog. I know I know I am so mean, but I do seriously feel that our lives would change a lot once a dog has entered into the picture. With all the stress at work and outside work, I don’t think I can take having a dog invade our space. Ok MY space.

I have always told my kids that they can have a dog when they are old enough to take care of it. At 6 and 3 years of age, I doubt they can and would probably leave it to me, my hubby or the yaya’s to take care of it. I will not allow that. So I guess no pets for now. Maybe in 2 years or so.