I brought my two sons to a birthday party today. There were lots of spaghetti and chicken. There were pink, red, blue , green and white balloons scattered on the floor and on chairs. There were kids running all around, screaming, crying, screeching. For a minute there, I lost focus on my own kids and felt like they disappeared beneath all the shirts and jeans and sneakers.

Because I also brought my kid’s nannies with me, I was able to relax and let me kids roam around. As I watched them play, I mused on how different these two human beings are. They were both formed out of my own genes but if you really think about it, they are as different as night and day.

I wonder… how much of themselves were really formed out of me?

My eldest son is very shy. He is often insecure and needs a lot of time before becoming comfortable with anyone. He is very attached to me, to my parents and my brother. Once he has gotten used to a person, a thing or an activity, it is difficult to take that away from him or him away from them. He is cautious and wary. He hates sudden movement, crowds, loud voices. His surroundings have to be calm otherwise, he becomes agitated.

My youngest son is mischievous. He loves to make faces and loves to make people laugh. He is unafraid and assertive. He is a copycat and is quick to mimic anything that he sees me and the people around him do. He looks up to his big brother and follows him all around. He runs after cats, dogs, and ducks although he runs away from house mice. He is demanding and can show clearly what he wants or doesn’t want.

I sink deeper in my thoughts as I try to rationalize… the way I always do.

Do I really want them to be so alike? No. Do I really want them to talk, walk, act and feel the same? No. It is a blessing that they are as different as they are. They actually complement each other. One would always take care of the other.

I feel happy. I am not worried. I have great kids.

**Re-posted from A Filipina in Society.

Filipina exposed. It’s about time that people started laying it out in the open. Through Janette Toral’s Filipina Writing Project and the efforts of Lorna Lardizabal-Dietz, Dine Racoma, and Noemi Lardizabal-Dado, all Filipinas now have a venue to participate in this global effort to reshape the image of the Filipina.

I, a sexy Filipina mom, a gorgeous Filipina, and an empowered Filipina individual am jumping in to join this online campaign by doing what I do best… blogging.

I believe that the Filipina in the nude is a sexy Filipina. The brown color of her skin is dazzling and beautiful. Her dark hair is mesmerizing. Her short, flat nose is adorable. Aside from her obvious beauty, she plays different but important roles that make her a force constant in the Philippine society.

Filipina as a worker. She is hardworking and organized. She is formidable but personal. She is intelligent and smart. She is an achiever. They bring warmth to any company and act as a glue to the foundation of any company’s resource structure.

A Filipina leads with an iron fist but a soothing voice. She merits respect rather than demand it. She negotiates rather than dictates. Filipinas are not nitpickers. They are flexible making them ideal for any type of job or career they aim to have.

Great Filipinas at work are: Emily Abrera, CEO of McCann Erickson. Monique Lhuillier, International Fashion Designer. Maria Ressa, CNN’s Jakarta bureau chief and Head of ANC.

Filipina singles and dating. They are fun, adventurous, and fabulous. It will be an endless whirlwind trying to keep up with them. This makes up part of the allure that they hold.

Dating in the Philippines is unique and exciting but quite challenging. It is still the norm for any man to make the first move or to be the first to profess his interest. Then there is the wooing, the courting and the dating. Oftentimes, the wooing includes family or friends. It is also not uncommon for one man to travel three hours through traffic just to pick up his date and another three hours just to bring them safely home.

Modern Filipinas, although more aggressive and stubborn, still expect the same wooing albeit at a different level. The obvious difference is that modern Filipinas are more expressive, critical and go getters. They usually know what they want and do not have a hard time communicating this. Men will just have to try harder to win these women (or not).

Impressive Filipina singles: Cristina Garcia, model and previous spokesperson and supporter of CATW Asia Pacific Chapter (Coalition against trafficking in women), Jo Ann Bitagcol, model and photographer.

Filipina brides, wives and mothers. So you want to marry a Filipina? The Filipina as a bride is romantic. They will do their best to make your wedding not only memorable for her but also for you and your friends. They usually celebrate with family or friends and set up all preparation with them in mind.

As a wife and mother, they are nurturing and fiercely loyal, always putting their husbands and their families first before anything else. They have unbelievable resilience and patience which is one of the keys to keeping the family intact. The Filipina at home will do anything to protect her loved ones from pain and suffering.

Celebrated Filipinas at home: Maricel Laxa, mother of four, vice president of BusinessWorks, Inc. and a consultant and trainer at The Parenting Company and the author of bestseller Mommytalk: The Oh’s and Oh no’s of Motherhood; Dine Racoma, Sexy Mom, Blogger, Freelance Writer, Researcher, New Media Adviser, Mother and Grandmother; Janette Toral, mother, blogger, author, professional and founder of the Philippine Internet Commerce Society.

I am a Filipina and I am proud to be. Are you? Join us and let us reshape the definition of the word… Filipina.

Links:
The Filipina Writing Project
Reshaping the Filipina Image online

Entries Masterlist: The Filipina Writing Project

• Filipina: Isa ring Ina
• Filipina Writing Contest and My Favorite Filipina Blogger
• Filipina is a Filipino Woman
• Filipina Pride
• Ang mga Filipina ng Buhay Ko
• The Filipina in the Eyes of the World
• 3 Things You Possibly Do Not Know about the Filipina
• A Topless Filipina in Europe
• What is a Filipina?
• Ako si Pina.. At ito ang aking kuwento…
• Filipina - Boholana, Part 1
• Dalawang Anyo ng Pinay
• Never Underestimate the Heart of a Champion Filipina
• Nang Itaas Niya Ang Kanyang Kamay
• Hindi lang Filipina Dating, Dating Filipina, Wow Filipina talaga!
• A Different Filipina
• Filipina: prostitution and exploitation
• Ang Pinay sa Buhay ni Pinoy Ambisyoso
• They are Filipinas Too
• Filipina 2007
• The Portrait of a Japayuki as a Filipina
• Filipino DH (Die Hard Filipina)
• Maria “Ria” A. Jose is a Filipina
• The Ideal Filipina In The Heart And Mind of A Filipina (Not A Mere Dating Or Sex Object)
• Filipina
• Different Faces of a Filipina
• Are you just a Filipina?
• Ako po si Elay, Nagbibigay Pugay
• Filipina Since Birth
• Filipinas are Natural Entrepreneurs
• Spotlight: Filipina Bloggers
• Looking Beyond the Heart of a Filipina
• My Filipina Thoughts
• The Filipina Campaign
• Pinay Na, Nars Pa!
• Biking Moves These Filipinas
• Filipinas: Tres Marias
• Long live Bb Filipinas
• Google Suggested Pinay Scandal
• Quest for Search Engine Visibility for the keyword “Filipina”
• Filipina
• The Different PERSONAS of a Filipina
• A Prayer for a Filipina
• A Filipina in Society
• Si Aling Epang
• Yan ang Filipina
• Filipina Nurse
• Traits of a Filipina
• Mukha ng Dalagang Filipina
• Macho I Love Yous
• Portrait of the Strong Filipina
• Filipina in Perspective
• Model Filipinas, modern Gabrielas: Liza Maza and Luz Ilagan
• Hot Filipina
• Filipina Ako. I am a Filipina
• Uber-Proud, Tanned Filipina
• Sarado na ang mga Karinderyang Filipina ang Putahe
• Sing-Kwenta
• Babae sa Pag-unlad at Pagbabago
• Ang Nanay ko
• Babae
• Adobong Pinay
• Ina Ko ay Isang Magiting na Filipina
• Filipina Entrepreneur
  
• Proudly Pinay: The Filipina Who Strut on Her Heels
• A Filipina Women is…
• Story of a Young Filipina Woman - The Fighter in Me
  
• Filipina works! Abroad
• The Filipina Superwoman
  
• Two Popular and Unique Individuals, Both Filipina
• Filipina as Other
• Superiority of Women in the Philippine Society
• The Funniest Filipina Vloggers
• Filipina Power

Someone recently called me a martyr.

Officially, a martyr is someone who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle. If you really think about it that sounds kind of positive.

But how come here in our country, being tagged as a martyr is not a very good thing? Oftentimes we identify martyr-s to be wives who stayed with their husbands despite being beaten, or children who stay home to take care of sick parents, or boyfriends who wait 3 hours for their always tardy girlfriends. I am not exactly sure how this thinking evolved but I feel it is only here that people think this way.

So when I was called this, my initial reaction was denial. I am not a martyr! Instantly, reasons and excuses came to mind and I started picking out the best defense statement to make… as if being called a martyr was synonymous to getting the plague.

Then I stopped myself. Wait! Should I really be defensive?

They told me it was because I don’t ask questions. I don’t probe. I am not interested in a persons past. And yes, I don’t. I have this insane notion that people will always be truthful to me. That they will tell me if something needs to be told. And if they were not truthful or if they were intentionally hiding something, I would be able to tell. People criticize me because of it. My family is frustrated with me because of it. But I really don’t care most of the time about a person’s past. If it does not affect me today, I do not see why I have to care. Admittedly, I have gotten into trouble many times as a result. But even then, I maintain how I choose to live my life.

All I want to do is be myself, love my family, protect them with all I have. If in doing all that I experience pain and end up having to make considerable sacrifices then so be it. Is that so wrong?

Going trick or treat is not common in our country. In fact, kids dressing up as ghosts, witches, or monsters and knocking on their neighbors doors were unheard of outside gated subdivisions. Year after year though, more and more communities have embraced the custom. More villages, schools, and offices are now celebrating halloween with trick or treat.

And although I find it a challenge trying to explain to my 4-year old that there are really no monsters, I dressed him up as a bat, his kid brother as tigger (of Winnie the Pooh) and brought them over to collect tons and tons of candy from my generous colleagues.

It was a great event that had my kids laughing and enjoying themselves all day. My youngest even won “cutest costume” for being the cutest kid of the lot. We brought home tons of candies to last us a month and maybe cause us some sore throats along the way.

Did you know?

Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts celebrated their New Year on November 1. They believed that the night before the new year, the boundary between the world of the living and the dead became blurred. They would wear costumes consisting of animal heads and skins and built sacred bonfires to burn crops and animals for sacrifice to the Celtic deities.

Hmm. Its amazing how many years have already passed by but the really the celebration has not changed. Will it stay the same 10 years from now? Or will it change? I don’t think too much will, but one thing is for sure - the costumes will probably be more intricate and elegant as ever.

Today is my son’s last day in school before they go on a two-week semestral break. It is also the day for parents to meet with the teachers to discuss their kids progress in school.

I am unsure why I keep thinking PTA (Parent Teacher Association) but I feel this meeting has come to be called just that.

His teacher then presented me with my son’s report card. It reminded me of my own back when I was still struggling through grade school. This time though instead of the familiar grades of 80, 85, 90… there written were 1, 2, 3, and 4 with 1 being the highest grade given. And instead of seeing subjects like Math and English, what was listed were school activities like - use of pencil and crayon, recognizing letters and numbers, initiating activities with other kids and the like.

I felt like a proud mama as my kids grades were mostly 2’s and 3’s. There were several 1’s too which made me smile even more. My eyes fell when I saw the lone 4. It was beside “sharing own ideas in class”. His teacher confirmed that my kid was still very shy. He was not comfortable participating in class and would often be made to remain standing until he completed his recitation.

Its hard to believe, I know, that my kid would turn out shy when I myself am very talkative, vocal, assertive and have no problems speaking or presenting in front of an audience (in fact I love it - hehe). But then it may just be a phase as I vaguely remember a shy version of myself when I was still very young. That was a very short phase.

I feel torn. When I look at my eldest son, I can’t help but think that in a few years he will be going to grown up school already. I want to stop time… maybe keep him a baby forever… my baby. But I also want him to grow up and experience the world. Become a good person.

Now I feel like crying. What a mess I am.

This is me and my blog … joining inkblots’ blog action to offer e-flowers for the victims of the Glorietta tragedy.