Being a single mother carries with it a stigma that is hard to shake off. Most of the time, they are either thought of as flirty and even promiscuous women.

Being a working mother, on the other hand, often commands admiration and respect.

And most of the time, mothers are seen as saints, martyrs and saviours of society.

I can’t say I do not agree, being a mother myself. I would love to think that being a mother makes me noble but the reality is I am not a saint.

On the other hand, I was a single mother not so long ago and while it is unfortunate to have to bear a child alone, doing so does not make one promiscuous or even dirty. It may be that she just made bad judgements or maybe even made wise choices.

Face it. There are good mothers and bad mothers. And once in a lifetime you will find really evil ones.

I don’t think need to define what makes a good mother. A lot of us would probably be able to speak to that. So what do I want to point out? I would like to point out some instances where you will see bad mothers.

Look at Britney Spears. She is in a bitter custody battle over her kids. And she cannot even comply with minor requirements from the judge that she eventually lost the right to see her kids. To me personally that makes her a bad mother or maybe a really really really weak one.

And what about those that truly have no regard for their kids health and well-being? I have witnessed many mothers who do not care what their children do at all that results in kids getting into many accidents.

There are those who even sell their children for drugs or gambling money. Some are sold for sex even.

So what makes mothers evil? Well I have not had the chance to come across truly evil mothers. But I feel they are those who already have diseased and evil minds that just happen to have children.

They are those who physically hurt their kids, rape them, kill them… or worse microwave them.

Its harsh but these happen around the world.

Its sad because I myself am a victim of stereotyping mothers. I believe that mothers are naturally nurturing and loving. I believe that all mothers love their children. I find myself surprised when I hear stories of mothers who are not what I just defined them to be.

But the fact is and remains to be that giving birth to a child does not automatically make one a mother. It just makes one a child bearer.

One of the best things about being a mom, is bearing witness to everyday miracles involving your child. My youngest son is 1 year and a few months old. He is a cheerful lot but I must say quite a handful. Just today though he learned to say goodnight to me and my husband… by himself.

Usually what happens is that I have to run after him just to kiss him goodnight. He would be bawling and pushing me back. It always turns out to be a long goodnight for both of us and most of the time for my husband.

Today, yaya just said - ok say goodnight to mommy and daddy because you will sleep already. To my surprise he walked over to me and kissed me on the lips MWAH! He did the same to his dad. It is definitely an improvement to nights with kicking and screaming.

Kids do the most surprising things at the most unexpected moments… always. That is part of what makes them truly a joy to their parents.

Im such a proud, beaming mom right now. Can you tell?

Many people take their nannies and household help for granted. I know a lot of my friends do and sometimes people in my family do too. I have seen many stories on the news about helpers being maltreated by their employers. Others have been raped, starved and even killed.

I hope that I was never cruel to my yaya’s or help. Although I cannot recall ever being evil to them, I do remember being irritated when my clothes were not washed or my food was not served in time.

Now that I have my own family and employ two helpers (one yaya for each of my kids), I have never been more appreciative of them. I rely a lot on my nannies because I am a working mom and have to depend on them to run the house most of the day all week long while I am out working in the office. I cannot imagine myself ever being cruel to the people who cook my food and take care of my kids. I do not want to come home one day to find out that my kids are gone and my food has been poisoned - dramatic I know - but it does happen.

And it is on their days off that I truly feel the appreciation.

Imagine yourself without a yaya, left to take care of two rowdy boys and a demanding husband. Well on weekends without my yayas that is what I do. And believe me, it is not an easy task. Forget about taking a bath (during the day), staying clean and pretty when you need to pick up after your boys, cook your family’s meals and make sure everyone is fed and happy. Oh and forget about having time to blog! Haha.

I am glad my yayas are kind and they absolutely love my kids. I wouldn’t know how to survive without them.

I attended a 2 hour talk of Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan in an office event the other day. She talked of parenting partnerships.

She talked of how parenting partnership does not necessarily compose of husband and wife. It can be mother and grandmother, or mother and brother, sometimes even a yaya (a.k.a nanny) can also be included in such partnership. The key is to find people who will make the best partners when it comes to parenting.

Key things to remember when on this search is dependability, ability, and availability. For example, we may look at our own parents (our kid’s grandparents) as a parenting partner and they may be dependable and certainly able but most of the time the question would be are they available? At the end of the day, we really cannot force anyone to take care of our own children for us.

The other thing that she said that was most memorable to me was this…

Wrestling a gorilla is no easy task. You don’t rest when you’re tired. You rest when the Gorilla wants to rest.

So true don’t you think. I have written similar stuff before. It really defines what being a parent is all about. It is so much easier to be irritable and difficult and go the easy way out. This is especially true when we are so tired and at the same time your kids are all clamoring for attention - “Just one more story mommy!”. And in those instances,  parenting partnerships are most needed and appreciated.

I enjoyed Maricel’s stories of her family and anecdotes about her kids and their activities. She talks slow, clear and animated. It was like listening to a storyteller. I now understand why she was awarded as the most balanced mom by the Metro magazine.

Maricel Laxa is the vice president of BusinessWorks, Inc. and a consultant and trainer at The Parenting Company. She is the author of bestseller Mommytalk: The Oh’s and Oh no’s of Motherhood and Superbenj.

I had the opportunity to attend the second Taste Asia event sponsored by SM Hypermarket - finally! I wrote details about it in my personal blog but I wanted to highlight here the other moms that I had a chance to meet.

I really did not know the faces that belong to the other moms in the pinoymomsnetwork. Well… except for Noemi, Dine, Myrna (because I saw her on tv) and Aileen. And that’s why I really wasn’t aware that other PMN moms were also there at the event.

I was just surprised when ChrisH told me someone was looking for me and brought me in front of a person that was not familiar to me. It was a good thing, Teacher Julie was the first to acknowledge my presence and gave me a wide smile. Thanks Teacher Julie! She also introduced me to i-mom and kongkong622.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stay longer to chat with you guys. But it was already late and my voice was worse than ever. I hope to see you again soon!

Here is a picture of the other moms borrowed from Noemi Dado.

Anyone who has taken cared of a child would have come across Barney, the purple dinosaur. You will have seen him in various audio and video cds. I receive many of those cds during my own two kids birthdays. They seem harmless enough. The songs are very catchy and kids find it easy to follow the tunes. In fact, my 1-year old’s favorite morning exercise is dancing to Barney and Friends.

Sometime ago, someone told me that Barney was not good for my son. I was told that Barney was gay and somehow was promoting being gay through his tv shows. My immediate reaction was alarm (that someone is a friend after all). Alarm that such a show would be used to promote something that could be confusing to a 2 year old. But then, I said really? I wasn’t sure because a lot of other parents I knew had Barney in their homes and on their tv and I never heard them say they knew him to be gay.

So I surfed the net and discovered how Barney has come to be tagged as gay.

In a new video to be distributed to 61,000 schools across the nation, homosexual activists are using popular children’s TV characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants and Barney the dinosaur to surreptitiously indoctrinate young children into their lifestyle, a pro-family activist group charges. Based on the 1970s hit song “We Are Family,” the video will be distributed to public and private elementary schools nationwide March 11, along with lesson plans for teachers. American Family Association researcher Ed Vitagliano sees the project as an “open door” to a secondary discussion of homosexuality, noting the the foundation has a “tolerance pledge” on its website that children and others are encouraged to sign, which includes sexual orientation.

Source: www.worldnetdaily.com

I looked at the website and could not find anything specific that pertains to homosexuality or anything similar. The site indicates that the foundation aims to educate people to appreciate cultural diversity. And I guess that is where the buzz about the promotion of homosexuality came from.

The buzz was started 2 years ago. What is left is some sort of conclusion that Barney is gay (the color purple doesn’t help).

Regardless, my kids love Barney and Friends. I watch the show with my kids and as long as I do not see anything wrong with the content and material - the cds will remain my kids’ favorite.